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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet act.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {